domingo, 11 de octubre de 2009

El Argentina-Perú (desde otro punto de vista)

Como nunca los ojos del mundo estuvieron ayer en el partido Argentina-Perú. La posibilidad de que Messi no esté en el Mundial causa grandes angustias. Mientras que aquí, después del resultado, se habla de robos, trampas y oscuras manipulaciones de las condiciones climáticas, quizás sería bueno echarle una mirada a lo que otros vieron sin tener ningún corazón en juego. Tonteando me topé con un divertido seguimiento del partido en el Guardian británico, minuto a minuto, donde también se añaden algunos comentarios de otros bloggers e internautas. Algunas líneas reveladoras:

23 min Peru are desperate, with no ambition at all. It's enough to make you pine for this man. One of the greats and no mistake. [abrir link]

28 min "I can't help feeling that Peru's pitiful current state is my fault," announces Mac Millings. "Some years ago, I was the English teacher at Club Brugge in Belgium, and among my charges was a certain Andres Mendoza, a Peruvian international at the peak of his powers. Power, pace, and a predator, Mendoza had it all. But then I came along. He only bothered turning up to one class, and from there it all started to go wrong. [¿será esa historia verdad?]

30 min To misquote Trainspotting, take the worst hangover you've ever had, multiply it by a thousand and you're still nowhere near to how bad Peru are. Utter filth. [nunca me gustó mucho Trainspotting]

35 min "You're a bit harsh on Peru, Rob," says Gary Naylor. "On this showing, their goalkeeper would be a shoo-in for England." [es sabido que cuando el golero es la estrella es porque...]

44 min Peru's attacking player is unbelievably naff. [adj. Chiefly British Slang: Unstylish, clichéd, or outmoded.]

Half time: Argentina 0-0 Peru Well, well, well. Argentina are 45 minutes away from ignominy and, possibly, next summer off. They dominated this half from start to finish against a defensive Peru, but they didn't create that much. This is truly fascinating stuff. [Tan fascinante que no vi el partido]

después del 1-0 argentino

50 min "Has there ever been a more impudent free-kick goal than the Cubillas toe-poke against Scotland?" says Dileep Premachandran. "What a fall from grace. Back then, Peru had players like him and Chumpitaz. These days, the best-known is probably Jefferson Farfan, and he's not even very good, except at the late nights." Cueto was a fine player as well. [y Challe, y Oblitas, y Velásquez y...]

63 min "Never been so sad to see Argentina score - and I love Argentina. Hence I want Maradona sacked ASAP," says Amy Kennebec. [a mí Maradona no me cae mal, de hecho no tanto como a Pelé]

80 min Peru are having a lot of the ball, and Argentina are at least reversing the bus, if they haven't quite parked it. Totally needless really, because Peru are rubbish. [el pudor patriótico no nos hace llegar a tanto; todavía no: falta el partido con Bolivia]

83 min The weather is diabolical now. Rain, hail, frogs, dignity: it's all coming down. Utterly weird. [coming down, estamos acostumbrados a eso]

86 min You can hardly see the match now - seriously - so wet is the camera lens. But Peru aren't really threatening, as far as I can see.* [yo, que no prendí la tele, puedo corroborarlo]

* I can't see a thing

87 min Truly, you can hardly see the screen. It's apocalyptic. But the ball is definitely in Peru's half, which suits Argentina fine. [el Perú y el apocalipsis tienen una relación de larga data]

88 min "Please tell Steven that it's precisely because so many of us love Maradona and think he's one of the untouchable world's bests, that it's actually painful to see this debacle," says Melissa F. "From myth to monstro in no time at all. It's quite sad." [confesión: a mí me haría muy feliz que Maradona ganase el Mundial como entrenador de su selección]

GOAL! Argentina 1-1 Peru (Rengifo 90) I can hardly see a thing but Peru have equalised! Rengifo, the substitute, heads a careful, placed cross into the net from three yards. He was criminally unmarked, but I don't know who put the ball in to him. [es probable que Rengifo tampoco sepa]

Full time: Argentina 2-1 Peru Bloody hell [¿homenaje al blog?]. Argentina are in a huddle, their entire party celebrating victory, but my goodness they were lucky. Martin Palermo, aged 741, scored in the 93rd minute to keep them in control of their own destiny. [eso, controlar nuestro propio destino: debe ser un sinónimo de la realización del ser humano]

El texto completo aquí. Ahora solo me resta imaginar qué harían los de Monty Python si cogieran a la selección peruana como tema. 

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